top of page

10 Things to Let Go to Set Yourself Free, Be Happy, & More Yourself

  1. Desperate, Exhausted, Empty.

How often do you put the needs of others before yourself?

Do you make it a priority to invest time daily in your health and well-being?

Yes, you have people depending on you. You could have parents, kids, friends, a business, your job, friends, neighbors, the hungry children in your community, or the preservation of the local river for future generations.

Your commitment and energy investment are applauded. Keep up being the loving parent, daughter/son, partner, friend, entrepreneur, employee, activist, or volunteer.

If your health, happiness, and well-being are suffering, then it is time to hit the pause button.

It’s time to reflect.

Are you investing 30-minutes in exercise every day?

Are you reserving a few minutes to relax, refresh, and fill yourself back up each day?

Are you taking time to eat whole foods, vegetables and fruit, proteins and whole grains?

Do you drink enough water daily?

Do you get seven to eight hours of high-quality sleep most nights?

Even one no to the above questions means you need to analyze your life. Why aren’t you investing in your health and well-being?

No, it isn’t because you are lazy. Yes, it is possible to find the time.

It requires you to set new priorities, commit to them, and communicate them to people in your life. Now the oil will hit the fire.

Deep down, you may not believe that you deserve to take time to take care of yourself. Or you could worry that the people in your life will give negative push back if you place yourself first for a few minutes a day. In a worst case scenario, you harbor a dark fear that you will lose the love, appreciation, and meaning in your life if you don’t always say yes and self-sacrifice.

Placing the needs of others in front of your own could be second nature to you. You define yourself as the sort of person who gives at any personal cost. Setting a priority of dedicating unnegotiable time to taking care of your wellness in body, mind, and spirit won’t be easy, especially if you have had a martyr complex.

Guess what? No one is making you do anything. It may feel like you HAVE to do everything on your list. You have the power to set yourself free.

Fight the fear. Be brave. Take steps toward self-love.

Invest daily time in getting eight hours of sleep, eating healthy foods, drinking eight glasses of water, exercising 30-minutes, and taking time to replenish with a hobby that fills you up, like reading, painting, crafting, baking, or gardening. You will be charging your body with energy. You will be investing in your current well-being and long-term health. You will be filling yourself up with well-being and happiness.

You may need to pay for help, ask for help, or negotiate an exchange of support so you can gain the time you need to invest in your energy, health, happiness, and vitality. Hire a babysitter to come for an hour, a caregiver to be with your ailing parent, or negotiate a trade of help with a friend.

The people and the world deserve the healthiest, happiest, most authentic version of you. As counterintuitive as it may seem, you have more to give when you learn to say no and invest in self-care.

  1. Yes, yes, yes……sigh.

If someone asks you to help do you always end up saying yes?

Yes, the world needs more people who are generous and giving. You are charging the world with more love by giving your energy, time, and love to others.

The critical question is how your regular giving is affecting you.

You are out of balance if you often feel angry, underappreciated and overextended. A storm of negative emotions swirling through you regularly is a sign that you are sacrificing too much and need to set yourself free.

You deserve to be happy, healthy and more yourself.

It’s time to analyze your life and start the ten-minute pause immediately.

First, get out a pen and paper. (Yes, right now. I’ll wait.) Write down your priorities in order from one to ten on how you want to invest your time and energy. Be authentic and honest. Instead of writing down what you think your priorities should be, write down what you want most for your life. Envision an ideal life you could build in the next year. How could you prioritize your energy and time to activities to make it a reality?


  1. Building your business to achieve X by the end of the year OR Getting promoted in your career.

  2. Excelling at work

  3. Completing your continuing education