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How to Stop Worrying & Regain Your Joy: A Complete Guide Step by Step

How to Stop Worrying & Regain Your Joy: A Complete Guide Step by Step

Are thoughts on a continuous loop through your mind that won’t stop, no matter how many time you try to shift your thinking?

Do you feel the anxiety eating away at your insides?

Is your heart racing in anticipation of what could happen?

It’s time to release the worry.

Step 1. How is the worry serving you?

Ask yourself why you are worrying. What purpose does it serve you? People can condemn worrying much too quickly, or wish it away. It could be that worrying is a catalyst for preparing yourself sufficiently for the future.

Imagine you are worrying about an arduous exam coming up next week, a marathon you want to run, a presentation you want to deliver well, an international flight with a toddler, your child going off to school for the first time, or just another meal with someone a family member.

Worrying about negative outcomes could lend you the insight and motivation you need to ready yourself for the event.

So you draw out a time plan and commit to studying every night for the next week. You begin to log more running miles per day.

Or you take a course to improve your presentation skills and join a presenting club.

You look up articles on traveling with a toddler internationally and pack a bag filled with extra clothes for both of you, plenty of snacks, toys, books, disinfectant gel, and Dramamine.

You prepare your child for the first day of school by practicing crossing the street safely and do an internal audit to find that worrying makes you feel like a good parent.

You realize you worry about a meal with the family member because it always results in negative emotions. So you brainstorm a new meeting location, time, or boundaries you will set.

It can be agonizing to get caught in a worry cyclone. To step out, ask “What do I fear, and why am I holding on to that fear?”

Are you using fear as a source of motivation to get ready for the future?

Has worrying served you well in the past to excel or as a protecting force?

Does worry reinforce your ego, making you feel like a better parent, spouse, friend, son, daughter or other?

Take time to ask yourself the questions and pause to reflect on the answer.

  1. Free Yourself from Fear

Do you believe that motivation to prepare and protect can come from a place of joy, instead of a place of fear?

Telling yourself to STOP worrying will never work. The only thing more aggravating than telling yourself to stop worrying, and failing, is to have someone else tell you to ‘just stop worrying.’

That which you fight becomes stronger.

When you fight your worry, it multiplies or magnifies in force. Cease all effort to stop your worrying. Instead, be proud of your imagination and shift its focus.

Shift your focus from fear to joy. Instead of picturing yourself stuttering in the middle of your presentation, or staring out at a sea of bored faces, picture yourself charismatic in front of intrigued and smiling faces. In place of envisioning yourself receiving a bad grade on your test, imagine yourself with a good grade.

Now comes the critical element for the visualization to work well for you. Work backward from the positive outcome to the present moment. See yourself doing all of the things you needed to do to make that optimal outcome come true.

See yourself sitting down at your desk every evening after dinner, opening your books, and studying. Visualize yourself practicing your speech with a coach and in front of your speech club.

Whenever worrying grabs hold of you, proceed to think about the best possible outcome instead. Replace instead of fight away. Take the energy your mind is jetting toward fear-based scenarios, and channel it toward imagining a scene in which you everything is optimal.

Feel yourself radiating calm, confidence, joy, and goodwill in the end scenario and work backward looking at each step in the chain that will enable you to obtain that feeling and end result.

It will take time to recondition your brain to shift from using fear as a source of motivation and protection to using joy. Be patient with yourself and keep at it. Once you obtain the same result the first time through joy visualization instead of a fear-based projection of the future, everything will shift. It will get easier and more comfortable.

  1. Find Connection

Worry thrives on loneliness and feeling separate. The next tactic to freeing yourself from anxiety is to feel a sense of connection. What are ways you can feel a sense of connection?

Organize a dinner party

Meet friends for a yoga class