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Tips to Skyrocket Your Self-Confidence That Will Surprise You

10 Tips to Skyrocket Your Self-Confidence That Will Surprise You



Think small, tiny, MICRO new activity


What would it take for you to skyrocket your confidence?


Go ahead, and give it some thought. I’ll wait.


Does it involve a major shift in your reality? Or does it require a massive investment in terms of time, money, effort, and willpower?


I’m guessing you answered yes to either one, or both of the above questions.


Luckily for you, you are ten massively, I’m talking ten elephants balancing on top of each other, overestimating the resources required to change your level of self-confidence.


The first step to the Brave New You.


The first step is to think of what would make you feel more inner strength, poise, and unshakable certainty in your self-worth.


Is it having more knowledge? Feeling fitter, stronger, more flexible? Is it having a group of people who adore you? Is it looking more stylish? Attaining a degree? Perhaps it is feeling serene and resilient to stress, no matter what life throws at you. It could be becoming skilled in something you love, like guitar, cooking, writing, or sculpting ice.


I guessed it, didn’t I? It’s the ice sculpting.


Once you figure out what could give you an inner steel rod of certainty in yourself, it’s time to think of a small daily goal that will get you moving towards your goal.


I’m talking about a tiny, even macro daily effort.


Ten minutes is the outer limit of what you are even allowed.


What will your daily effort look like? Perhaps this is

· 5 minutes of meditation

· 5 minutes of push-ups and squats

· 5 minutes of yoga

· 5 minutes of writing

· 5 minutes of studying


Now, I can already hear you saying that it isn’t possible to just leave your ice block standing out in your living room so you can do a few minutes of sculpting each day. Then block out an hour once a week to ice sculpt and use your daily 5 minutes to watch tutorials, brainstorm, or sketch your next sculpture.



Step Two to Self-Confidence.


The second step is to look at your daily life and find something that you do every day at the same time. Use this initial habit to trigger your new micro activity.


Examples include: right after brushing your teeth, right after you jump out of bed in the morning, right after pouring yourself your first cup of coffee, after finishing cleaning the kitchen, the minute you get home from work, or [insert your brilliance here.]


Set a timer for 2-5 minutes and do your new micro activity EVERY SINGLE DAY for 40 DAYS.


After 40 days, take time to reflect on your progress, how you are feeling, and what you would like to alter or change completely.



Are you one of those super enthusiastic, ‘I want to get results fast and I’m willing to work hard’ kind of person?


Slow your roll down the motivation hill. We want you to get RESULTS, and so you are allowed only 10 minutes at most for the first 40 days.


After that, well you do you. You can keep everything the same, increase the difficulty of the task in the same time frame, or set a new goal of 20 minutes a day.


Just be sure to do your new activity every day, without fail, even if that means reverting some days to only doing 2 minutes. Every 40 days take time to reflect on your progress, how you are feeling, and what you would like to alter or change completely.



Why will a new micro activity work?


It requires minimal willpower.


Minimal willpower means that you will actually DO the activity. Imagine the previous system flashing in neon colors or sailing on a huge banner being pulled by a low-flying plane overhead because I can’t emphasize this point enough.


Minimal willpower means that you will actually DO the activity.



Are you still incredulous or unmotivated to start?


Are you wondering why doing a new activity for a few minutes a day will change how you feel as you walk around the world?


I get it. I mean, how can a few minutes change your sense of self-worth?


A micro activity builds up over time to quickly achieve massive results. Sure, 5 minutes doesn’t sound like much. But in a week it’s 35 minutes. In a month it is 2 hours and 20 minutes. In a year that is over 30 hours.


Even MORE critically, when you do something every day, it starts to become part of your identity. First, you start thinking of yourself as the ‘sort of person’ who exercises daily, plays the guitar, writes, and meditates. All of a sudden, you start saying, I am a yogi, a cook, an ice sculpting genius.


Furthermore, when you commit to doing a certain activity every day, at the same time, no matter what, and then you show up AND DO IT- you keep your word to yourself.


You get a jolt of not only a dose of dopamine in the brain which makes you feel good, but also a bit of satisfaction with yourself for having accomplished something you set out to do.



Start building Inner Strength. Forgive. Stop Being a Victim.


Succeeding in adding a micro activity to your day is smooth sailing compared to building inner strength. And forgiveness? Well, that can be a climbing of Mount Everest type of challenge.


Choose an activity that scares you. Go do it. If you fail, then get up. If you fail again, then get up. Repeat over and over again. Build that tenacity. Forge that resilience through fire.


Next, think of something or someone that you just can’t seem to forgive. You’re carrying this around with you like two bowling bowls slung around your neck on long ropes. Work on releasing and letting go and at last, forgiving the incident or the person.


That person may be you. You may need to forgive yourself.


If you can just snap your fingers now and say, ‘Hey, you’re right. Yes, I am now released. I forgive those people,’ then I am humbly, deeply impressed.


Forgiveness for most people takes sweat inducing inner work and time. One way of working through forgiveness is through working with your hands while feeling the pain, being present with the pain, such as working in the garden, baking bread, sculpting, painting, or building something.


Others find kickboxing, sprinting, marathon running, long hiking journeys, or screaming into a pillow beneficial pathways to release. Another way is by coming to stillness, such as in a yin yoga practice where you remain in the positions on the floor for 2-7 minutes while feeling into and being with the pain. The pain will turn from ice to water, water to steam, and float away. But this process can take time.


Once you forgive, you let go of seeing yourself as a victim. You discover you are more than what has happened to you, and that there was always a place untouched by whatever happened.


Feeling light and empowered, your sky confidence soars after forgiving.


Know You are Valuable, Love-Filled, and Connected.


Hey, there are motivational masters, gurus, and possibly even tight-rope walkers who can give you some electrifying insight on how to recognize some things that are true.



You are intrinsically valuable to the universe.


You have worth, just by existing.


You are filled with love. (Yes, even if you can’t feel that love within you.)


You are not alone. You are not separate.


AND none of the above means you are a nice person or radiate love and light all day long.


Puzzled?

Yeah, me too. I mean, how can a complete jerk robbing banks be of value to a universe filled with love? How can you be valuable to the universe as you just sit on your but eating gallons of ice cream all day?


How can that be FAIR? How can that be RIGHT?


What about all those honest, hard-working people and those guys out there saving orphans? The dude who built that billion-dollar company? That one singer whose music moves people to the depths of their souls? They MUST have more value! Right? Hello? They have something I don’t. They are MORE than I am.


Nope.


Once you realize, you FEEL, that you are valuable to the universe, that just by breathing, you are filled with love, and you are connected to everyone and everything, then your self-confidence is going to skyrocket my friend.


But hey, I would fall to my death if you made me walk a tightrope across a canyon, the thought of public speaking horrifies me, and I am not anyone’s guru, at least not yet. So legit I don’t know how to inspire you to believe how worthy, worthwhile, and full of love you are.


So dive deep into some spiritual works, book a spot for a motivational speaker’s seminar, or the absolute easiest and best: spend some time praying or meditating every day to get in touch with your soul.


*Side note: If I start levitating, then I will let you know right away and you can totally come to chill with me to get a jolt of serenity.



** Double side note: Do not start eating cartons of ice cream daily, robbing banks, or being an absolute jerk. Yes, you will still be intrinsically valuable to the universe and full of radiant love, but hey, it won’t make you feel great about yourself nor help your karma situation either.


Do One Small Act of Kindness for a Week


When was the last time you thought out and did something kind for someone else?


Doing one act of kindness a day for a week will raise your self-confidence because it will cause you to feel good about yourself.


I’m talking about pre-meditated acts of kindness my friend.


One day resolve to smile at everyone you meet, drop by some food to aid the hungry or someone ill, help out that new Mom by bringing her some cut-up vegetables and fruit, volunteer your time to help a worthy cause, or some other kind of imaginative gesture.


Listen, you’re a good person. Life is busy. Most of us want to be good people. It’s just that life is busy, there’s a long to-do list waiting for you already, and ‘doing good’ gets pushed to the back of your mind.


So just schedule it into your calendar. Start tiny by smiling at everyone you meet all day long.


No, I am not talking about that tight-lipped-closed mouth effort. I mean the type of smile that lights up your eyes, not just turns up your mouth.


Kindness is empowering. You see that your actions have the power to change things for the better, even just a little. Perhaps you want to resolve to start up a conversation with the new person at the office/neighborhood/yoga class/school.


You light up inside when you do something for someone else or the planet, yes, even if it is only the small act of giving away your seat on the bus or the train for the week.



Provide Value. AND Just Be.


Do you know how you provide value to your intimate, important relationships, friendships, and all the other groups you are involved with, such as at school or in the workplace? What about how you provide value to your town, country, the planet, and our universe?


Your self-confidence will skyrocket when you feel as if you are of value in each of the aforementioned areas of your life. For instance, if you feel like you are a rock star Dad, you will feel much better about yourself. If you feel like you are an amazing contribution to where you work, then your self-confidence will be higher. Do you feel as if your work contributes to the betterment of your town, area, country, or world? You can bet you will have higher self-confidence.


So how do you go about feeling as though you are providing value to relationships, in your work, in the world?


First, know your strengths and what comes effortlessly. Don’t swim against the river; go with it’s flow. Does it make you happy to be quiet, contemplative, and calm? Then you can become a brilliant, or even better, listener. People love to hear themselves talk J


Do you light up inside when you can be the center of attention, make people laugh, or share your knowledge? Then play up these strengths and consciously bring these qualities to your relationships to uplift, share fun, or inspire.


Do you not know what kind of work will help you contribute value to the world? Start with exploring what you love to do through trial and error. Try things out. Get messy. Make mistakes. Laugh when you fall. Then you may fall right into what makes your heart sing. Once you find that thing you love, then find a way to share it with other people while you put in the effort and time to improve your mastery.


Your self-confidence will skyrocket when you begin seeing your time and all your interactions with others as the potential to provide value.


You will notice how doing the dishes and cleaning the kitchen isn’t a chore; it’s providing the value of a clean home for yourself and/or those you live with as well. You will realize that showing up at a party with the intention to be a delight adds to the success of the evening for everyone. You will see how just smiling and being light-hearted at work can shift the entire atmosphere of your workplace. Being the shoulder to cry on, or the person someone can call for help will make you feel powerful and confident.


Just do not become addicted to giving in a martyr-type complex.


No one enjoys a martyr. Give value from the heart, not because you can’t say no, not because you are too nice to deny or refuse, but from a place of calm, or say no.


Or perhaps you can’t say no, but you just need to take a break before continuing on at giving your best. Go sit in the sun, take a break by laying on the floor and watching the clouds drift by, breathing deep, feeling your belly rise high with each inhalation. Fill yourself up with what you need to do to be in vibrant health, energy, and balanced emotion. Then go ahead and dive back in, being at your best. Focus on what you have to give, not on where you lack.


Here’s the catch.


Don’t believe that WHAT YOU DO will always be what makes you valuable.


Huh?


All things dissolve.


Everything fades.


There is a natural building up, rolling in, feeling blissed out, and a disintegrating, falling, flowing out in life.


At some point, you will be the person who needs help. Yikes. I know that can sound scary.


Accepting help with grace and gratitude will STILL be your opportunity to provide value.


Getting in touch with your inner sense of self, and your soul will allow you to sense the sun behind the shifting clouds. There’s part of you that holds steady no matter how the winds shift.


Heather Lenz








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