Grief: How to Take Care of Yourself in Difficult Times
- Heather
- May 3, 2024
- 6 min read
Grief: How to Take Care of Yourself in Difficult Times
What are you feeling right now? How are you grieving?
The truth is, I can’t know, and it isn’t because I don’t know you.
The truth is that everyone grieves uniquely.
Each loss in your life will most likely be processed differently. Sure, there will be people who insist grief follows certain stages. There will also be those with good intentions who impose their idea of what grieving should be. Just thank them and move on. There is no right or wrong way to feel and no grief check-off list of emotions to travel.
Sadness, despair, anger, guilt, denial, bargaining, depression, acceptance, melancholy, relief, numbness, disassociation, suppression, depression, anxiety, joy, abandonment, loneliness, and more can all be experienced by someone in grief. Accept what you are feeling and open up space to experience the emotions.
Holding things in, forcing emotions, or feeling the need to suppress feelings could cause you to feel miserable and lengthen the grieving process.
The unsettling news is that no one knows exactly what you are going through.
The comforting news is that the steps to taking care of yourself in this difficult time are the same. Before we continue, please know: that my heart going out to yours with love in this tough time.
Create A Nourish Routine for Yourself in This Time of Grief
In times of grief, it may help to nurture yourself like you would a beloved child.
Create a strict schedule of when you will wake up, what times you will prepare and eat meals when you will exercise when you will set aside time for solitude to ‘just be’ with your emotions, and when you will do something that comforts you, and when you will go to bed.
Why should you create an iron schedule?
Someone processing the emotions of grief needs high-quality sleep, nourishment, exercise in the fresh air and sunshine, and comfort.
Without exercise, you will find it difficult to fall asleep at night. Not eating high-quality food at regular intervals will negatively impact your health and well-being. We want to boost the endorphins in your brain to bring you back toward a state of homeostasis. Exercise, fresh air and sunshine, healthy, regular meals, a good night’s rest, and comforting activities will boost the feel of food chemicals in your body.
Schedule In Comforting Activities
What activities do you find particularly uplifting and soothing? Add time into your schedule for these activities every day to boost the positive chemicals in your brain. Some examples of comforting activities include: drinking tea and reading a book, curling up to watch a comedy, dancing, playing with a pet, cuddling and reading to your child, baking, gardening, painting, coloring, writing, crafting, photography, or playing cards.
I want you to keep picturing a beloved child who is going through a tough time. This is the child within you. If envisioning the child within you is uncomfortable, imagine you are creating this schedule for a loved child you know. Once you have written down your schedule, commit to following it just like you would if you were nurturing a beloved child.
Add in a Few Minutes of Daily Yoga
You may have never tried yoga before, or you may be a decade-long yogini. Wherever you are, and at whatever age, there is a yoga class that can soothe and provide release from the comfort of your own home.
Below you will find the links to my all-time favorite classes for tough times of grief.
For the Beginner:
For the Intermediate:
Self Healing: Amanda
Yin Yoga: Surrender
For the Advanced:
However, if these do not resonate or uplift you, then I encourage you to search through the classes on YouTube. I recommend you search for a slow Yin Yoga class to open, soothe, and relax you in your time of grief.
But perhaps a quick moving and strengthening power flow would better serve you if you better if you are feeling anxious, wound up, angry, or drained.
Even if you spend the entire yoga session laying on your mat and breathing the yoga breath, you will feel better when you get up. Pulling the attention away from the circling thoughts in your head and focusing on the breath will center and ground you while opening space for emotions to release.
Make Meals Easy And Healthy
You may be throwing your energy into cooking five-star meals during this time of grief, or you could have no appetite at all. Either way, focus on cooking with whole foods.
Resist the urge to pour in cream and heap in butter. Choose whole grains, lean meats, nuts, and piles of fresh vegetables and fruit. Go for easy, and don’t worry about eating the same healthy meals day after day right now. The important thing is that you eat fresh, whole foods, and not processed junk and takeout.
Example day of meals:
Breakfast: cook up oatmeal throw in frozen berries and sweeten it with honey or maple syrup every morning. Just bring one cup of oatmeal to a boil with 1 cup of water and 1 cup of milk. Turn down the heat and let simmer for five minutes before adding the berries.
Snack: Handful of almonds and a piece of dark chocolate
Lunch: Eat a salad of a cut of red peppers, cucumber, avocado, walnuts, tomatoes, and chickpeas. Add in a wholegrain sandwich with avocado, your favorite veggies, and cheese.
Snack: sugar-free plain probiotic yogurt and granola with blueberries.
Dinner: Wholegrain pasta and sugar-free red pasta sauce with spinach salad.
Add Silent Time in Nature
Nature has a healing and hearing effect. Silent time in nature can take place in the park during your after-lunch walk, in the evening in your garden, or on the weekend for a day-long respite from the world in the mountains or nearby forest. Time sitting next to a lake, river, or ocean, can stir up emotions and improve your mood afterwards.
The majority of people spend too much time indoors. Your instinct may be to hide inside, especially if you are overwhelmed by emotions during this time of grief. Instead, resists the urge to stay inside. You can hide outside by traveling out into nature. Going out doesn’t mean you need to see others.
Write Your Schedule in Stone Until the Grief Fades
When our brains and bodies are under stress, it is difficult to execute logical thinking and to make decisions. If you are overwhelmed by emotion, it can be hard to just get up out of bed in the morning, let alone remember to eat. Creating a schedule takes away the need to make decisions about when to wake up, go to bed, eat meals, exercise, and engage in uplifting activities.
Reward yourself each day that you follow your routine and take care of yourself during this difficult time.
Retreat From All Drama & Energy Vampires
In this time of grief, no matter what you are feeling, permit yourself to retreat from all drama and energy vampires in your life. You are working to guide your body, mind, and soul back to a state of homeostasis and balance. You are already working to follow a schedule to care for yourself in this difficult time and keep yourself healthy and feeling as well as possible.
Don’t let others steal your energy away. You can’t afford to release energy right now.
This doesn’t mean you fail to love others. It just means you are taking time to heal, process, and return to higher energy again. For once others can resolve the troubles and tribulations in their lives without your help. If they are loving people, they will understand.
Do not let them guilt or shame you that you ‘should be over it’ or ‘moving on with life’ already. This is a selfish reaction because they are angry at the lack of attention they are used to receiving from you.
You have a right to retreat for a time, or permanently, from those who only take energy, instead of ever giving it back. You are not of value in this world because you give. You are of value because you exist. Take the time you need to grieve, and you will resume adding to the world in a way only you can.
Steps You Can Take To Care For Yourself In This Difficult Time
Create A Schedule for This Time of Grief
Prioritize Time Daily for Comforting Activities
Make Daily Yoga A Must
Cook Easy, Healthy Meals
Seek Out Quiet Time in Nature
Commit to Your Nourish Schedule Until the Grief Fades
Withdraw From All Drama & Energy Vampires
Watch the voice in your head and make sure in this time that you talk to yourself with kindness and comfort. You are deserving of compassionate care and love. Give it to yourself, and I hope you are surrounded by the love and care of others in this tough time.
Sending you love – Heather Nadine