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How to Love Yourself and Be Confident

How do I Love Myself? What does that even mean?

Sure, you’ve heard it countless times. ‘Love yourself.’

It sounds like a good idea.

You want to feel love and self-assurance.

You’re willing to do what it takes to get from where you are now to this new state of being. But how do you get to the point of radiating self-confidence? You may not know exactly WHAT TO DO to start feeling the serenity and bliss of self-love.

Make A 30-Minute Date in Your Schedule.

The first step to love yourself and be more confident is to invest thirty minutes every day, yes every day, that you spend with you.

Spend this 30 minutes with yourself doing something that uplifts you, improves your health, gets you in touch with your spirituality, or brings you into a state of flow.

Now, I am sure that you will not like the second part of this date: be sure to detox during this time from all things digital. Go out for a walk, journal, meditate, do some yoga, or even organize your sock drawer. It doesn’t matter what you are doing as long as you take time to settle into the quiet and get to know you.

What do you value?

What brings you joy?

What are you naturally good at doing? What brings you quickly into a state of flow where you lose sense of time and the world around you?

How do you want to show up in the world?

What does a perfect day for you look like?

What do you use to comfort, re-balance, or uplift yourself when you are stressed, sad, angry, or feeling other negative emotions such as fear?

The more you get to know you, the more self-love will grow. The first step is to spend more time with yourself daily.

Watch The Thought Clouds

As you let go of digital stimulation and settle into the quiet, it will be easier to watch your thoughts as they float through your mind.

Are your thoughts positive, negative, or neutral? Are they helpful? Do they uplift you?

Take time to analyze your thought patterns. Do you talk to yourself like someone would talk to their beloved friend or grandchild?

You can choose to talk to yourself more lovingly. Go ahead a build yourself up in your mind. I am not encouraging you to get out of touch with reality and become a self-involved ego-maniac.

I am asking you to recognize your strengths and celebrate them. Acknowledge weakness. You have any mistakes you make, take action to correct the situation, forgive yourself, and move on feeling light-hearted again.

Are your thoughts circling around and around in anxiety, fear, anger, or sadness? People say ‘think positive,’ but I find this too vague to help. Gratitude works better.

You can choose to bring your attention over and over again to everything you are grateful for in your life.

Start with the easy, like gratitude for running warm and cold water, sunlight, fresh air, the love in your heart, and move on to all the other blessings in your life.

Say over and over again in your head, ‘I am so grateful. I am so grateful. I am so grateful. I am so grateful for sunshine,” and then see where your heart takes you.

Anytime your thoughts get less than loving toward yourself, judgmental, or harsh, make a shift. Treat yourself like a beloved child, pet, or other loved one. Let gratitude pull your vibration upwards when your thoughts turn negative and then think of everything that can go right in your life.

Set a 10 Minute Timer Twice a Day

Set a 10-minute timer twice a day and move your body. I don’t care what you do. I don’t care what you are wearing. Be naked, for all I care. Some people love doing their yoga naked (and it’s a whole lot less expensive than the lulu lemon)—dance around in your underwear.

Run around in circles on your front lawn. Or you know, just do some pushups and squats in your kitchen while waiting for the pasta to boil.

It doesn’t matter what you do, where you do it, with whom you do it, or what you are wearing. Just move that impressive body of yours for ten minutes, once a day, always.

Are you stuck at work for 12 hours, or at a conference? Climb stairs for ten minutes. Or you know, start to change the world by being different. Stand up and ask everyone in your workplace or at the conference to join you in some aerobic, yoga at the desk, or tai chi. Learn to Say No with Equanimity

Is it easy for you to say no?

Can you say no with grace and serenity when someone requests of your time, energy, or resources that you do not want to give?

Most people do not enjoy the experience of needing to say no, especially to loved ones, community members, and those they respect. If you find it difficult to say no, then you are not alone.