How To Take Charge of Your Life Like a Badass Boss
Excuses? Hello?
Do you want to take charge of your life like a boss?
Are you ready to say goodbye to excuses?
Sure, there could be valid reasons why you aren’t living life as your most vibrant and thriving self. You may have a reason to close up shop, close the shutters, and sit down in desperation. You may never want to open up and try again in some area of your life.
Except there’s that part of you that would like to open the door and let in some light. It’s the five percent chance that you could be healthier, happier, living with more purpose and passion, loving deeper, and acing the game of life.
You can change something in your life in an instant. The first step is to believe you are powerful and a positive shift is possible.
Everything that has happened to you, everyone who has hurt you, and all the obstacles in your way can become your excuses. Release excuses for not taking the wheel and directing your body, mind, and emotions where you want them to go.
I know, it sounds great. But if you are feeling victimized, depressed, hurt, weak, and alone, you may not think it’s possible to feel empowered to take charge of your life. What action can you take now to take control?
Elevate Me in One-Minute
Start a one-minute elevate journal.
Write down every night before you go to sleep in your one-minute journal where you have the power to change your life and how. The secret sauce is to keep the change small and prime yourself to act the next day.
For example, you could write down:
I have the power to wake up earlier and do twenty minutes of yoga or meditation before work.
Gain: stronger, more flexible, better physique, lower stress levels, higher well-being and contentment
Pain: (if I don't take action) stress, anxiety, the risk of chronic illness, burnout, unbalanced, unhappiness
Close your eyes after writing the words and imagine yourself hitting the alarm button, counting to three, and instantly jumping out of bed.
Trick, Prime, and Set Yourself Up for Change
To prime, yourself set out your meditation cushion, yoga outfit, and a bottle of water in the middle of your bedroom or living room before you go to bed. Make it easy in the morning to slip into the new habit.
Next, envision yourself arising in the morning and doing your yoga and meditation right before you drift into slumber.
Reward Me Only If….
Promise yourself you won’t enjoy one of your favorite simple pleasures unless you have done your practice in the morning. Whether this is a cup of steaming tea, an espresso, or checking social media, reward yourself only if you succeed in accomplishing your new habit.
What happens if you smash the snooze button the next morning despite your priming and best intentions?
Own your failure to get up in time. Forgive yourself. Believe that change is possible and your brain and body need more preparation time to ease into your new routine. Then do just two minutes of yoga or two minutes of meditation.
Refrain from enjoying your designated reward.
It’s Not Working.
Repeat the one-minute journal and priming activity each night.
Retry. If you don’t manage to get up again, do three minutes of meditation or yoga.
You may think, what’s the point of three minutes? Taking even three minutes of action today will prime your mind, body, and emotions to make the change in the future. You’re establishing the habit in micro.
Patience with yourself is vital. It took me two weeks to work up to my first morning yoga practice. There were days where I did one minute of yoga, and others where I got up to ten minutes, and only fell back the next day to two minutes.
Don’t give up if you don’t manage to change your life in one day. Believe that willpower is a muscle you are growing.
By day fifteen I fell into twenty minutes of yoga, which over the next few months turned into thirty minutes, and then an entire hour.
Continue the nightly journaling and priming for two weeks as you give yourself time to believe in the change and build your willpower muscle.
But If I Fail AGAIN to Make the Change?
Check your unconscious thought patterns.
Your unconscious is powerful. It could be that you believe your thoughts are positive and empowered, yet lurking beneath your consciousness is fear.
You could fear the very change you most desire. Acknowledging the fear, and reassuring yourself that no matter what you will be okay, can be the best way to overcome the fear and pursue the change.
Examine your life.
Evaluate your lifestyle, relationships, and attitude. Look for what might be preventing you from making the change of which you aren’t aware.
You aren't looking for excuses, but for concrete changes, you can make to facilitate the forming of the new habit you desire.
Are you staying up too late at night watching TV? Is someone you love throwing out negative comments about the new habit you want to form? Analyze who and what is influencing you. Take out a blank sheet of paper and set a timer for five minutes. https://www.bluezones.com/2011/08/the-right-outlook-how-finding-your-purpose-can-improve-your-life/
10-Minute Free-Write Activity
Free write without stopping to answer this question: What is preventing me from taking charge of my life as a boss and making this change?
Once the timer goes off, you can search what you've written for actions you can take to ease and support change.
For example, if you wrote that your family is making fun of your desire to be a yogini, decide to stop giving them power over you. Don’t wish and despair that your family doesn’t support you in making the change you desire.
You can’t change people. You CAN change yourself and inspire everyone around you in the process.
Fill your life with more support and inspiration to counteract the negative feedback from your family and the resulting self-doubt. Listen to podcasts, read inspirational books, or join an online or live community to support you. You don't need to be a super person. Will-power is not your problem.
You need to be honest.
So what if your family gets you down? That's okay that you need a counterbalance to boost you back up into inspiration. Be realistic about what you can consciously add into fill-up again to uplift.
Perhaps your family is supportive, but they want you to do everything you’ve always done the same. Guess what? You can’t stay up late talking with your spouse or watching TV if you want to get up early the next morning. You’ll be setting yourself up for failure.
Be honest about your boundaries, limits, and needs.
Communicate a need to change your evening routine to support a change in your morning hours. You can negotiate a way to make your family feel loved and supported. (Within reason my friend, you serve no one by being a doormat.) Hey, you could even be pleasantly surprised that your spouse wanted to give up late-night TV but didn't know how to tell you.
Only One Habit Flow at a Time
Sure, taking on massive change all at once is tempting. You may want a complete life change and to implement all the new habits all at once. Don’t set yourself up to fail by taking on too much at once.
People who are thriving in life don't attempt to change more than one habit flow at a time.
What is a habit flow? A habit flow is one activity that triggers another, and yet another. A habit flow could be drinking a large glass of lemon water, followed by an hour of yoga, followed by ten minutes of meditation, followed by coffee in the garden, followed by eating breakfast with family, followed by getting ready for work, and leaving the house. The routine never alters.
The habit flow could continue at work where you always sit down immediately and do creative, high-thought work for an hour and then enjoy a cup of coffee. The end of the habit flow is when variation and disturbance in the routine flow into your day.
Sure, you could live your entire day and life in one giant habit flow, with one activity always giving rise to the next. It would be the best way to be productive and efficient, but not the optimum way to be the most effective or happy.
You probably would get bored, rigid, and down.
So create one habit flow that lasts two hours and write it down. Follow it every day without fail, even on holiday, in micro fashion when you are sick, and you will start inching your way to the life of your dreams.
Make the habit flow, so pleasure-inducing that you don't want to give it up. Make it so painful NOT to do your habit flow that you never want to miss a day.
Be Open to Change
Once you’ve mastered one habit flow, you can tackle implementing another into your life. Just be sure to leave part of your life open to variation, spontaneity, and fun. Consciously leave some hours of your week wide open.
Life insists on change and will pull you along. Don't resist. Reevaluate your habit flows and make a conscious decision to release a habit flow for a while, modify it, or change it to something entirely new.
Wishing you the power to be the badass boss of your life- Heather